velvetfiction: (chocolate&magic)
[personal profile] velvetfiction
Title: Floo Calls
Author: Velvet Mouse
Rating: PG if you squint hard at the end
Characters: SS, HG
Summary: Sometimes, you miss the obvious.

“P-professor Snape?”

“Yes, Miss Granger?”

“You, um, said I could contact you. If I had questions. With my studies.”

“I did.”

“Is this, um, a good time for you, sir? If not, I’ll – I’ll send you an owl later.”

“What is your question, Miss Granger?”

“Oh! Thank you, sir. I really appreciate it. My classes here are - ”

“Your question?”

“Oh right. Sorry, sir. In class we were talking about the properties of topaz and I remembered you saying. . .”

“Hello, sir!”

“Good afternoon, Miss Granger. What has you so infernally perky?”

“My potion! It worked! I did like you suggested, and added one counter-clockwise turn half way through and it worked!”

“I see. And who was your unwitting victim that you tested this on?”

“Well, er, I haven’t exactly tested it yet. But the color turned deep green, just as predicted!”

“Test it, Miss Granger. Then you may crow at me.”

“Yes sir.”

“Professor? Professor, are you there, sir?”


“Oh I’m sorry, did I wake you?”

“It’s two in the bloody morning, Hermione. Yes, you woke me.”

“Oh! I’m sorry. I’ll talk to you tomorrow then.”

“Never mind. I’m awake now. What’s so urgent?”

“I think I solved our bicorn problem!”

“Our bicorn problem? When last I checked, this was your research project not mine.”

“Oh. But I think I figured it out! You see, because of the nature of -”

“Hermione, how much coffee have you had?”

“Thank you for coming to my paper at the conference last week. I really appreciated having you there.”

“Of course. I see it as my duty to support promising new minds in the field – especially when they happen to have been my student.”

“And I also really enjoyed dinner afterwards. I was wondering – wondering if. . .”



“. . .”

“Never mind, I shouldn’t have asked.”

“Wait, Hermione. I was merely trying to parse what you said. I believe the answer is yes, I would very much enjoy having dinner with you again. Perhaps this coming Saturday?”



“We were supposed to have dinner tonight, and you didn’t – are you crying, Hermione?”

“Yes. No. Maybe?”

“What’s wrong, Hermione?”

“Russ. He – he - ”

“That bastard! If he hurt you, Hermione, I swear. . .”

“No, no. Nothing like that. He just broke up with me. By owl.”

“Bastard. Come through, Hermione. You shouldn’t be alone right now. I have a bottle of wine with your name on it here.”

“You’re WHAT?”

“I’m getting married. Wedded. Joined at the hip.”

“To – to Marisa?”

“Who else, if not the woman I’ve been living with for the last year? Hermione, are you okay?”

“What? Oh, yes, yes. I’m fine. It just surprised me, that’s all. Congratulations, Severus. You deserve some happiness.”

“Thank you, dear. Would you stand with me? I know it’s tradition to have a best man, but you’re my closest friend, and. . .”

“Of-of course I will. I’d be honored.”


“Severus! Hello, stranger. How’re you doing? We haven’t talked in forever. . .”

“I know. I am so sorry about that. But with everything that’s been going on. . .”

“I know. I – I missed talking to you, though. It’s been strange, not being able to randomly call you up in the middle of the night when I have this great idea about a potion.”

“I know. I think I’ve missed it too. Would you like to come over for dinner tonight? I’d like the company.”

“Of course. Just let me go throw a couple of stasis charms on my cauldrons and I’ll be right there.”

“Are you there? Hermione, are you there?”

“Yes, yes, I’m here now. What’s going on?”

“Can you take my classes for a few weeks?”

“Of course. But why? What’s going on, Severus?”

“I’ve been awarded the Goodell prize for Most Original Research, so I have to prepare a keynote address for the upcoming conference.”

“You’ve been award the – oh my god oh my god oh my god!”

“I accept your congratulations, thank you.”

“Shove it and move over, I’m coming through.”

“But Jasmine - ”

“Oh bugger your wife! She can put up with me while I congratulate you properly.”

“Dammit! That bloody bloody bastard! I’m going to kill him!”

“Woah, woah, slow down, Hermione. Who’s the ruddy bastard this time?”

“James. Not only did he ditch me for that light skirted floozy, he went and patented the transmutation process without me!”

“He didn’t!”

“He did. Ooooh, when I get my hands on him, I’ll make the Unforgiveables look like a walk in the park.”

“Easy, Hermione. Put your wand down. He’s not there right now, so there’s no sense in destroying innocent cauldrons. Just take a deep breath and put your wand down, there’s a good girl. I’ll be there in a few minutes.”

“But what about - ”

“My wife can do without me for tonight. You need me more than she does right now.”

“She left.”

“She left? Just like that? Oh I’m so sorry, Severus. Did she say anything?”

“Only that it was clear to her now that she could never compete. Compete with what, I’m not sure.”

“. . .”

“What did you say?”

“Nothing, nothing. Just muttering to myself. I’m so sorry, dearest. So much for third time’s a charm, huh?”


“Do you want. . .?”


“I’ll be right there.”

“Come dancing with me, Severus.”


“Dancing. You know, big open parquet floor, music, bodies swaying, hopefully in time to the music.”

“You dance?”

“I danced at your wedding, didn’t I? All three of them, in fact.”

“So you did.”

“Come on, it’ll be fun. Besides you need to get your mind off – what’s this one’s name? Mindy? Muffy?”

“Ha. Ha. Ha.”




“Dinner, Hermione?”


“Here or there?”

“There. Let me just wash up and then I’ll be through.”

“Excellent. Don’t forget the stasis charms.”

“Yes, dear.”

“And don’t forget to – what’re you laughing at?”

“Just thinking how much we sound like an old married couple, that’s all.”

“. . .”

“What was that, dear?”

“I said ‘All of the nagging, none of the benefits.’”

“If I recall correctly, it was your choice to, ah, suspend those benefits.”

“I was married.”

“But you’re not now. And neither am I.”


“So do you still want your nagging not-wife to come over for dinner?”

“Only if she brings dessert.”


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